Preconceived Notions

How a person of one culture perceives people of another culture continuously astounds me. Travelling alone as I do, I meet many men. Guys of all shapes and sizes, nationalities, colours and creeds. Friends and family members of mine routinely warn and advise me against the collective male species every time I go to a new country.

For instance, as I left for France a few years ago, quite a few people warned, "Watch out for those Frenchmen! You know how they are." (In my experience, any man from anywhere, including the U.S., if he's heterosexual, will 'hit on' a lone woman.) As a point of fact, I found the Frenchmen I met to be absolutely charming and refined. I was followed once, however, as I roamed from museum to museum in Paris. Patrice finally introduced himself and took me out for coffee. He held my hand and we talked for hours. I kept waiting for the dreaded moment when he would show his true 'Frenchman' colours and accost me. That moment never materialised. We had a lovely time and I was sorry to see it end. We exchanged addresses, before he kissed me on each cheek and left me at my door. To this day, we still communicate.

It was the same routine when I left for Italy. "Be careful with those Italian men! They're dangerous!" This time I didn't readily accept the dire predictions. Italians, men and women, are very romantic, yes, but rarely persistent, and generous to a fault. Case in point, my second day in Florence I got lost. Typical for me, I'm afraid. Fortunately, an absolutely gorgeous human being offered to show me the way to the Ponte Vecchio, which led to my house. He threw his arm companionably around my shoulders and asked, "Do you have a husband or a boyfriend?" Now I'm not that naive, so I said, "Si." He just smiled and said, "Do you want another one?" I had to laugh as I answered, "No thanks. Not just now." Roberto was very good natured about it. (I've rarely found an American man who was so congenial when denied.) He taught me some basic Italian as we continued to the bridge, where he kissed my hand (molto romantico!) and bade me, "Ciao!"

American women, on the other hand, are generally perceived around the globe as being 'easy.' I've run across this concept in all of my travels. For example, after arriving in Greece, I chose to take a taxi into Athens instead of the airport bus. The driver could have been the model for a statue of Apollo! Andreii had travelled the world extensivally and was knowledgable about a variety of things (not necessarily American, as you'll see.) He drove me around the city, pointed out items of interest, and took me to the Acropolis before taking me to my hotel. He was a magnificent guide. As he dropped me off, however, he informed me that he would come to my room after he got off work. When I said, "No, I don't think so. Thanks anyway," he responded, "You mean...you don't want to? But...you're American!" Total shock and amazement. I just had to giggle at his look of astonishment.

In Arabic countries, an American woman isn't necessarily seen as 'easy.' She is more likely to be perceived as someone who 'will do it for love.' If you want to have an affair with an Arabic woman, you must buy her jewels, cars, a condo, etc. Very pragmatic. Not so the American. She's a romantic. Just 'woo' her and she is yours.

I get such a kick out of disabusing people of their preconceived notions. There is no such thing as a 'typical' this or a 'quintessential' that. People are just 'people' the world over. Stereotyping people is a disservice to us all.